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Tina VelgosPerfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good?
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Useful strategies for perfectionist teens! by Miriam Adderholdt, Ph.D. and Jan Goldberg ISBN: 1-57542-062-7 |
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Is there really something bad about being too good? This question and this newly revised and updated book makes you think twice!
If you're the parent of a straight-A student, a gifted teen, a procrastinator, an over-achiever, or an anxiety-prone teen, chances are you're also the parent of a perfectionist. In fact, you're probably a perfectionist yourself.
By reading this book, you'll find that perfectionism is usually learned behavior. Unfortunately, perfectionism can turn ambition into unhealthy obsession.
Parents and teens can learn how to communicate without criticism and how to appreciate the life experiences of a variety of people and enjoy life each day by following some common-sense tips.
I found Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good? almost....perfect! The book takes a light-hearted approach to a very serious topic for teens and their parents.
Filled with interesting quizzes, cartoons, and wise quotations (in a cool font!) and first-person accounts from teen perfectionists, this book is recommended reading for any teen and his (or her) parents in search of a solution on how to help get perfectionism under control.
I could totally relate to this book because my family fits under the umbrella of perfectionism. Straight-A students, kids who are never happy with their excellent work, and a house that never seems perfect enough are just a few of the things we wrestle with daily.
Besides providing information on classic "warning signs", the authors outline positive steps for teens and their parents to stop "the cycle of perfectionism."
One of the most important distinctions this book makes is the difference between perfectionism and "the pursuit of excellence". By reading this book, you and your teen will learn that it's healthy to pursue excellence, but making a mistake is an opportunity, not a disaster. This book is not about making sacrifices, it's about living life to its fullest!
I didn't realize, until reading this book, that procrastination is part of perfectionism. Then, it all made sense. For instance, my teen-age daughter puts off writing research papers until the last possible minute. Why is this? According to the authors, procrastination offers an "insurance policy" for teens. Although quality suffers for last-minute work, in a perfectionist's mind, it's acceptable because they can argue it's practically impossible to do a perfect job when there's not enough time to do it! The game of beating the clock isn't limited to homework, it also includes cramming a ton of activities (including extra curricular) into short time periods.
The book's authors encourage perfectionist teens to take more chances and stop worrying about failure. It provides teens with encouraging, positive advice! Kids can learn, by reading this book, that it's OK to have fun and feel good about yourself (despite scoring 96 out of 100!). It also re-affirms the importance for parents to stay involved with their teens and how to recognize the differences between "loving encouragement" and "implied pressure".
By reading the book's 10 chapters, you and your teen will discover:
- Why People Become Perfectionists
- What Perfectionism Does to Your Mind
- What Perfectionism Does to Your Body
- What Perfectionism Does to Your Relationships
- How to Ease Up on Yourself
- Perfectionism in Young Women and Men
- Ways to Gain Control over Your Life
- Learning to Reward Yourself and Savor Success
- How to Get Others to Ease Up on You
- When and How to Get Help Coping
At the end of each chapter, you'll find excellent resources such as lists of recommended books and web sites to check out.
Remember, it's unfair to expect anyone to be perfect, even if it's your own kid! This is for parents and teens who want to live live to its fullest! while